Spiritual Strength
Developing Godly Relationships
John Stalions, Outreach Director
The human life that God has so graciously granted us can be filled with many blessings; however, it can also be a miserable time period filled with envying and strife with other people. One key to having a great life is to develop good relationships with people. A great man once said that you will be in the future what you are now, except for the books you read and the people you meet. That can be summed up to simply say that it is very important what kind of people one socializes with, and what relationships one builds in this life. It is very important for the foundation of a good life to build proper relationships in every area of life.
To obtain the maximum ability to develop good relationships with people we must look to the prime example of all history, Jesus. Jesus was the greatest example for men to look to for everything, and especially in the area of relationships. Jesus taught us how to acquire relations with people, build them, secure them, and even end them. Jesus is truly the greatest example given to mankind for building relationships with people.
Seven ways the Bible shows to develop good relationships with people
1. Be friendly to people – Proverbs 18:24
The Bible tells us that to have a friend we must shew ourselves friendly. If one is ever going to develop a relationship with someone they must be a friendly person. No one wants to be around a grumpy person. This is the very first and one of the most important foundational blocks of building a relationship with others. To be friendly, one must always carry a smile, and present a warm friendly greeting. The most basic relationship is a friendship; therefore, to have even the most basic relationship the number one thing to do is to be friendly. Jesus was a perfect example of this. Jesus was a friend to publicans and sinners; this sets an example for mankind to follow. We should not just befriend those who are good people, or able to be good friends back. We should live our lives in a fashion similar to Jesus and befriend everyone; however, we should be careful who we spend too much time with. We should desire to be around those who will bring us up and be a good example to us, but we should be friendly to everyone.
2. Pray for people – James 5:16
Once we develop a friendship with an individual the best way to further the relationship is to pray for them. Once again Jesus is our perfect example of how to pray for others. The Bible gives us a clear outline in Matthew 6 on how to pray. James tells us to pray one for another. Prayer is the single most important thing to do to develop a care for others. You never really start caring until you start praying. The Bible tells us to pray without ceasing. We should develop an attitude of prayer to get to know people. Praying for others will force us to think of them causing a closer relationship without even spending time with an individual.
3. Care for people – Matthew 20:34
After someone prays for an individual they begin to take a personal interest in whom they are praying for. Caring for people was perhaps Christ’s best example to man on how to develop relationships with others. It is would be impossible to have a relationship without people, and compassion is the one thing necessary to get people around you. The Bible tells us in many places how when Christ saw the multitudes he was moved with compassion. Perhaps this is the reason why everywhere that Jesus went a crowd formed. Christ had a major impact on people. He was able to build several relationships because he cared for people. If a person is not willing to care, he will never successfully have a relationship with other people.
4. Help people – Matthew 8:7
After we pray for our friends and have compassion upon them we must take the next step to help them. Once again we must look to Christ Himself for the greatest example of the helping others. Jesus gave His entire life to help and love others; He helped others to the extent and expense that He gave His own life. The Bible tells us that after Jesus was moved with compassion He healed the multitudes. This is an example that in order to help people you must take the first step of having compassion. Once you can successfully help people you can keep a friend to build a relationship with.
5. Spend time with people – Luke 19:5
Perhaps the hardest step to take in building relationships is to spend time with people. The reason that it is so hard is because there is not short cut for it, and no easy way around it, it simply takes time. To invest time into someone is to truly give of yourself. Time is man’s most valuable asset and we must learn to manage it well, however, if we do not use it freely to be with other people, we will never develop a good relationship with another person. Jesus was a master of this; though He was busy He would always take the time necessary to make a good relationship with people. He sought out individuals personally to spend time with. If one is not willing to spend time with someone, neither is he willing to build a relationship with someone.
6. Give to people – Matthew 7:11
After we follow every step of developing relationships with people and find that things are not going as well as they could it is time then to become selfless and start giving. Giving is what shows others how much we care. Giving is what will keep a friend, and giving is what Jesus did better than anyone. Jesus gave to people everywhere He went. If we are not willing to give of ourselves then we are not willing to maintain a relationship. Without giving we become vain, and selfish. If we do not allow ourselves to give in our relationships we will soon lose them on the basis that we do not get enough out of the relationship. We must establish the philosophy that we do not expect anything from anybody, but we expect to give everything to everybody. This is the one proven principle to long-term relationships.
7. Teach people – Mark 2:4
Jesus was a master teacher, and a master of relationships; therefore, He should be our final example on how to teach others to build a relationship. There is a reason however, why this is the last point. If you do not successfully master all the previous points this one will be useless and even detrimental to the relationship. For example, no one would be interested in your advice if they did not know that you have already prayed for them, cared for them, and gave to them. Teaching is a very important attribute in advanced relationships. The Bible tells us that when Jesus taught that multitudes came to listen. This shows us that if someone can trust you then they will listen to what you have to say, and you can therefore be an example and a help to them. It would be impossible to have a strong relationship without some teaching form one person to another. Teaching is the final key to a relationship because it involves a standing relationship already.
When a person masters the above seven steps in their personal life then they can successfully develop relationships with people. The relationships that they will build will be solid, and very rewarding. Looking at Christ’s life no person can fault Him for His relationships; therefore, if we follow His example of building relationships we can not go wrong.